CoachesPH | 4 Habits That Can Make You Feel Deeply Unhappy Forever | Unpopular opinion: While we all want to be happy, we prefer to avoid being unhappy. It is impossible to be joyful all of the time in life, but being sad for the majority of it does not seem so impossible to most of us. I’m also not implying that life is easy or that people are simply dramatic; but, despite all of life’s challenges, certain of our habits can lead to a life that is both joyless and severely sad. As a result, it’s critical to be conscious of this and replace bad habits with healthy ones.

Since learning about this concept, I’ve realized that habits have a significant impact on one’s life quality, and I’ve sought to replace negative habits with positive ones. This is how I went from accepting that life was how it was to realize that I had the power to change things.

There are four habits that can cause you to be severely unhappy for the rest of your life:

1-People-pleasing
2-Self-obsession
3-Acquired powerlessness
4-Overthinking

Unhappy
4 Habits That Can Make You Feel Deeply Unhappy Forever

#1 People-pleasing

When you’re running around trying to please everyone else’s wishes, it’s difficult to focus on your own needs. It’s a common saying, but you can’t please everyone, therefore accepting this duty as your life’s mission isn’t the way to pleasure. As a result, this is the type of thinking that needs to be toned down, if not completely abandoned.

What you should do instead:

Most of the time in life, we act in accordance with our subconscious thinking, and people-pleasing is no exception. Our values become our way of being over time, so prioritizing the needs of others isn’t always a deliberate decision. That’s why, in order to let go of a people-pleasing way of being, it’s crucial to figure out what’s at the root of the problem.

Also, habits can imprison us and make us feel that we have to be a certain way all of the time when this is far from the case.

“Reasons come before results,” according to a remark I ever heard, and therefore if you have a reason to change, you can always alter.

In this scenario, you can find the strength to change your thinking once you recognize that attempting to make everyone happy will never result in you living true to who you are.
“You start a battle inside yourself if you avoid fighting to protect the peace.” Cheryl Richardson (Cheryl Richardson)

#2 Self-obsession

Ego is one of the reasons that make us feel powerful in the short term, but it is also one of the factors that makes life and relationships difficult for us in the long run. This is why separating ourselves from everything around us and focusing on ourselves might make us feel like we’re seeking what will help us in the long run, but this type of lonely thinking can be toxic in the long run.

When you exclusively focus on yourself, it can feel as if the world revolves around you, and while a certain level of importance is required for everyone, this is not the best approach to achieve it. It’s because everything in your life comes to feel greater than it is, and we forget that we aren’t even a dot when they take a photo from the moon in this fashion.

What you should do instead:

Accepting our insignificance is difficult at first, but it is humbling and provides a sense of comfort. We are all just people, and this proves that there is no need to feel superior or inferior. In the grand scheme of things, knowing that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves allows us to unwind and appreciate life.

“Large egos are big shields for a lot of empty space,” says the author.
Diana Black is an author.

#3 Acquired powerlessness

Feeling powerless is a common experience, and this is due to the fact that life may frequently trap us in a box where nothing seems to function. I’ve been there, too, but after learning that helplessness is a learned condition, my perspective has transformed.

Learned helplessness, according to the American Psychological Association, is a state that occurs when a person is continually exposed to a stressful circumstance over which they have little control.

This state is further clarified by a study conducted on fleas. A few fleas were placed in a container for the experiment, and the fleas soon jumped out. The fleas attempted to hop out when a glass cover was placed over the top but was unable to do so because they crashed with the glass cover. The fact that fleas remained to hop at the level of the glass after the lid was removed is remarkable. The experts also stated that when the fleas reproduce, the baby fleas will mimic their parents’ habits.

It may be more difficult to witness “human” learned helplessness in our daily lives, but it is fundamentally the same as the glass cover experiment. Whether it’s not being able to break a habit or accepting limiting beliefs, we may find ourselves adapting to a sense of helplessness.

What you should do instead:

Observing your limiting beliefs can be the first step toward avoiding learned helplessness. This is due to the fact that these restricting beliefs did not appear from the beginning, but rather developed over time, like a piece of gum on the road.

Once these limiting ideas have been identified, they may usually be classified as either fear of failure or negative self-talk.

When it comes to overcoming the fear of failure, adopting a growth mentality is the answer. This is because having a growth mindset allows you to feel free to try new things, and any missteps or mistakes you make will act as fuel for your advancement, and you will be able to learn from them. This will have an impact on your connection with yourself because you will be kinder to yourself and less likely to judge yourself when you make a mistake.

Second, when it comes to learned helplessness, negative self-talk can play a significant impact. Therapist Marisa Peer claims that the words we tell ourselves have a greater impact on us than any other words we hear. That’s why, rather than feeding our insecurities and limiting beliefs by talking harshly to ourselves, recognizing it and rephrasing it might be beneficial.

“Learned helplessness is the giving up reaction, the quitting reaction that results from the assumption that nothing you do matters.”
Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.

#4 Overthinking

Our minds are strong tools, but there is a good way to utilize them and a bad way to use them, just like any other power source in the world. I don’t believe that the times we misuse it are necessarily intentional acts for most of us; rather, we simply don’t know how to control this complex potential.

Overthinking is defined as being unable to control one’s thoughts and fighting to overcome them. Over-thinking, on the other hand, is a joy thief, and if it isn’t addressed, it can lead to life-long sadness.

What you should do instead:

Mindfulness, in my opinion, is the best antidote to overthinking.

When you google mindfulness, you’ll find that it’s defined as “a mental state obtained by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, utilized as a therapeutic tool.”

When it comes to practicing mindfulness, there are a variety of ways to use, but the senses method has shown to be the most effective for me. This strategy encourages you to concentrate on your senses, such as what you are seeing and hearing right now. So that you can be in the present moment and not in the past or future.

“Too much thinking leads to analysis paralysis. While it’s vital to think things through, many people use it as a way to delay taking action.”- Herjavek, Robert

Finally, some thoughts

Our need to avoid unhappiness, I believe, is stronger than our desire to be happy. That is why it is critical to prevent practices that can lead to long-term dissatisfaction. We spoke about four of these habits in today’s article and how to replace them with better ones. The following were some of the bad habits to avoid:

1-People-pleasing
2-Self-obsession
3-Acquired powerlessness
4-Overthinking

We can substantially improve the quality of our lives by eliminating these behaviors and replacing them with healthier ones.

Originally adapted from Medium.com

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